Hate 1

So there’s this boy.

And yeah, that is probably how each entry on here will start. For awhile, it’ll probably be about the same one, too. Cliche beginning that is so relevant it’s crazy. I digress.

So here’s the deal.

Things were looking up for us. We were talking again, after a period of sort of ignoring each other, and after an almost kiss he expressed that he wants to be part of my life. Before he was hesitant because I will be leaving for college while he will still be in our hometown. He made himself very clear, saying he wanted to talk to and hang out with me all the time.

Then, the other night, we had a fight and he has not tried to apologize or talk to me since then. I honestly don’t understand him, or what makes him so bipolar when it comes to his feelings about me.

The fight? Well, that was about him kissing my best friend. A week after I kissed him. While I was in a foreign country. That was over a year ago, and I just recently found out, but part of me still feels upset that both of them would do that to me. My opinion is that if you really care about someone, you constantly have their feelings on your mind and would do anything to preserve them.

The fight was not about the fact that they kissed, because after all it was so far in the past that there is no use being angry about it. Instead, I was searching for the real reason why they kissed, and he simply wouldn’t give it to me. To this, I told him that the reason I wouldn’t have kissed him Saturday night is because I would not want him to be kissing other girls if he kissed me. This led to the fight.

And we haven’t talked since he abruptly left the conversation at eight o’clock claiming he was going to bed to watch Netflix.

Love or Hate? I think this one is pretty obvious.

Why can’t he be consistent with how he treats me? I cannot stand his teetering back and forth, yet something keeps me holding on. Why is that?

I’m just a girl at heart, dealing with a clueless guy.


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